oh this will be long I’m just saying

okay so really, he means everything to me. I will openly admit that I completely love this man and will always love him. I have decided that I will not love another man (which is sad because there’s a better chance of hell freezing over than me ever being with this guy) but oh well I’m prepared to live with it. what can I say? He’s beautiful. absolutely beautiful, inside and out. His eyes are big and express all of his emotions, and despite his manliness his eyes sparkle, they literally do, oh they are the most beautiful eyes ever. every single inch of his 181 cm body is flawless, godly if you ask me.  I could go on and on about how I love how tan his skin gets in the sun or smooth it looks, or how his hair is flawless no matter what style, or how long and lean his legs are and his cute hips and his long graceful fingers but the thing I love the most is his smile. When he smiles my heart breaks, then heals, then it sings, then it beats rapidly because oh my god I love his smile so much. it’s slightly crooked but it’s adorable, it’s breathtaking, it’s so bright and when he smiles he means it. the smile reaches his eyes and he looks like the happiest kid on Earth and I want to hug him and tell him he’s so adorable when he does that. When he’s happy, I’m happy. I can’t help but smile back when he breaks out into a grin. I love his determination, how he won’t quit until he succeeds. even if he tries 1000 times he’ll do it until he gets it right or if he wins. I admire that so much, and I wish I was like that because he inspires me to try my hardest and never give up. oh he is so talented and I wish more people could see how hard he works and how wonderful he is when he performs. I love his voice, he’s a wonderful singer and a fantastic rapper, one of the best I mean seriously. He works hard to please his fans, and he loves his fans and his fellow group members and his elders so much the level of respect he gives and shows them makes me love him even more. he’s a simple guy and he’s not complicated. he’s  honest about his feelings and what he wants he’ll stop at nothing to get. I love that in a man. just thinking about him brings a stupid grin to my face and I want to crawl under my covers and cry because he’s so gorgeous and perfect and thoughtful and I’m none of those things. I finally had the honor of meeting him (if only for a few seconds, idk if you would even consider it a meeting) and that moment was hands down the most important, the happiest, and the most emotional moment of my life. It was so emotional I cried for 45 minutes afterward. He was walking by and he saw me, and he smiled that gorgeous smile and it was sincere and it reached his beautiful eyes and then he waved at me and then god he said in his beautiful voice “hi”. I don’t know how to describe the feelings of what it’s like to not only be recognized by your ultimate bias as not just another crazy fangirl but a person, but to have him look at you, smile, greet you with a simple gesture and word, but by god did it feel so good it felt so wonderful I could have died right there. all the love, admiration and respect I felt for him welled up to the top and I swear I was gonna blurt all of it out in public in front of him if I had the chance. we were so close I wanted to hug him. I just, I realized I really did love Minho and that I was going to always love that guy.

I love Minho so much, and I want him to always be happy and have what he wants, and for him to keep doing what he loves. I’m happy he’s here to be in our lives, as SHINee isn’t SHINee without him. if I had a chance to talk to him again I just want him to know that I love and respect him and that his existence means so much to me and that he’s my inspiration, and I wish him all the happiness and fortune in the world, because if anyone deserves it, it’s this guy.

okay I’ll shut up now.